Telling the Truth

At the core of all the pressures to abandon the self is the temptation to lie about what we really think, feel, and believe.

Martha Beck, Breaking Point

Who do you consider your truest friend? Your most authentic relationship? Do you have more than one? Who in your life do you feel that you are the "most real" with? Do you have fake relationships? Do you say one thing while you mean another?

These are questions that I have been asking myself lately. Even the people that I feel the closest to, I am sometimes not honest with. Of course I am not consciously doing this. I don't walk around LYING whenever possible... but if I sit down and really think about it... I am not always speaking the truth. I am afraid. Even of the people I love the most. In my efforts to be a kind person who never has conflict or makes anyone else uncomfortable, I find that often times I ignore what my gut is telling me and say what I think they want to hear!

"Telling the truth means we need to take responsibility for our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and desires. When we cannot face the truth--or fear others will reject us because of it--we tell little lies. We lie to ourselves. We lie to those we love. We lie to strangers. We get so used to lying that we no longer know the truth from falsehood. Our lies do not have to be big to get in the way of having an authentic relationship." Taken from A Generous Presence by Rochelle Melander

Can you think of ways that you "tell little lies" each day when you should be speaking the truth? Not just because it's the right thing to do, but because if you really think about it--don't you think that the people who love you also want to know you? Know the real you?

Rochelle Melander says that there are two steps to learning how to tell the truth:
1. Recognize it. Ask yourself: "what do I know?"
2. Actually tell it. "The truth can be hard to hear. When we begin to tell the truth in a relationship or institution committed to a culture of posturing, we may be rejected. Of course, without this truth telling, we risk not knowing the richness of having an authentic relationship--with ourselves and one another."

Can you think of a time where you told the truth and it created a foundation for an authentic relationship?

Remember it. Try it again!

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What She's Reading (#2)

Winter time is a great time to read ... LOTS!
I thought I would share a list of books that I am currently reading to hopefully inspire some of you to consider some of these same issues that I believe are important as a wife and mother.

#1 The Omnivore's Dilemma

"A national bestseller that has changed the way readers view the ecology of eating, this revolutionary book by award winner Michael Pollan asks the seemingly simple question: What should we have for dinner? Tracing from source to table each of the food chains that sustain us--whether industrial or organic, alternative or processed--he develops a portrait of the American way of eating.

The result is a sweeping, surprising exploration of the hungers that have shaped our evolution, and of the profound implications our food choices have for the health of our species and the future of our planet."

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#2 The Hour That Matters Most
"Dinnertime—It’s More Than Just a Meal. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott have discovered the surprising impact that something as simple as sharing a meal together can have on a family. And they aren’t alone. Researchers across the board are finding that an hour around the dinner table can really tether a family together and help you raise up healthier, happier kids. Featuring the inspiring story of Stephanie Allen and Tina Kuna, the founders of Dream Dinners, The Hour That Matters Most shows you how to nourish and nurture your family through regular meal times. An inspiring, practical book packed with everything you need to help you make the most of the dinnertime hour, The Hour That Matters Most includes

• never-before-published recipes
• expert cooking tips and ideas
• color photos of family-favorite meals
• dozens of conversation starters to get your kids talking around the table

If you’re looking for ways to bring love and laughter to your home, rediscover the remarkable power of the family meal in The Hour That Matters Most."

#3 Captivating
"What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women. Setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be."

#4 Bringing Up Boys
"Sensible advice and caring encouragement on raising boys from the nation's most trusted parenting expert, Dr.James Dobson. With so much confusion about the role of men in our society, it's no wonder so many parents and teachers are at a loss about how to bring up boys. Our culture has vilified masculinity and, as a result, boys are suffering. Parents, teachers, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have lots of questions. In Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson tackles these questions and offers advice and encouragement based on a firm foundation of biblical principles."

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All descriptions and photos were taken from Amazon.com

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Read a Christmas Book with your Children

I imagine you and your children have favorite books to read together at Christmas-time.  Here are a few of the ones our family has enjoyed over the years.  {Most ofhese will be at your local library where you can preview them, or available for purchase from an online bookseller like Better World Books, ChristianBook.com, or Barnes & Noble.]

Jotham's Journey, Bartholemew's Passage, and Tabitha's Travels.  It's a bit late to get started on these now since they are actually Advent titles, but make a note for next year!   We found these books a number of years ago when we were using the Five in a Row curriculum at home.  The books are designed to be read aloud each night of the Advent Season and they should be read in order (start with Jotham, then Bartholemew, then Tabitha.)  Sometimes they are a bit corny and the writing tends towards the overly dramatic and predictable, but we did enjoy them!  [Age depends on attention span of your particular child...  if you are listening as a family, all ages.]

The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey.  An online reviewer writes,  "Christmas is pish-posh," grumbles Jonathan Toomey, the best wood carver in the valley. He's a Scroogelike recluse; but he's a gentle grouch, it turns out, and he hides a sad secret. He's transformed, not by Dickensian ghosts, but by an eager seven-year-old boy and his widowed mother who ask him to make them a Christmas creche...." Apparently this book was made into a movie a few years back but I have no idea if it is any good!  At any rate, make sure you have a box of tissues nearby when you read this one.  Ages 6 and up.

The Clown of God.  "In this retelling of the old French legend, a juggler offers to the Christ Child the only Christmas gift he has..." This is another one that will most likely move you to tears.  Please read it with your children very, very soon.  [BTW this is also a Five in a Row title.]  Ages 5 and up.


Note, another Five in a Row title, A New Coat for Anna, is also a beautiful story that features a Christmas celebration in the end.  Ages 4 and up.

Some would probably complain about the next two but we are Babar and Madeline fans so we'll forgive these titles for whatever they may lack;  I'm just stubborn and old-fashioned enough to like them anyway!   

Madeline's Christmas "With everyone else sick in bed with a cold on Christmas eve, it is up to Madeline to run the school and she finds a remarkable helper in a rug-selling magician."  Preposterous but fun anyway.  Ages 5 and up.




Babar and Father Christmas. Babar's children write to Father Christmas, inviting the jolly fellow to visit them in the land of the elephants.  Awesome.  Ages 3 and up.

 For older children, of course try O. Henry's classic tale The Gift of the Magi.  (This lovely version is illustrated by P.J. Lynch.) Ages 10 and up.


What are your family's favorites
to read together this time of year?

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Favorite Recorded Books for (Long) Family Car Trips

Here are some of our family's favorites for listening together while making long trips around the holidays. 

All of the "Ramona" books recorded by Stockard Channing

These are the best.  So funny and usually some kind of poignant resolution (that gently teaches a lesson).  These stories will make you laugh out loud and maybe (if you're a sentimental mom like me) even shed a small tear.  Beverly Cleary understands children (and parents!) so well.  If you've never read these books, do yourself a favor and listen to them very soon!

Titles include:

• Ramona Quimby, Age 8 (1991) 
• Beezus and Ramona (1992)
• Ramona and Her Father (1992)
• Ramona and Her Mother (1992)
• Ramona Forever (1992)
• Ramona the Brave (1992)
• Ramona's World ( 1999)
• Ramona the Pest (2000)

Age 7 through adult.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (13 volumes!)

I think these incredibly creative books are better listened to than read.  Language is so important in these stories -- so hearing the words spoken is even better than reading them on the page.  Maybe you need to have a dry sense of humor to really "get" these books, I don't know.  My family thinks they are hysterical (and also sometimes kinda sad...  but in a good way.)

Here are the titles with their original book publication dates.  Most of the audio books are read by actor Tim Curry athough the author Daniel Handler (as Lemony Snicket) reads books 3 to 5.

1. The Bad Beginning (1999)
2. The Reptile Room (1999)
3. The Wide Window (2000)
4. The Miserable Mill (2000)
5. The Austere Academy (2000)
6. The Ersatz Elevator (2001)
7. The Vile Village (2001)
8. The Hostile Hospital (2001)
9. The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)
10. The Slippery Slope (2003)
11. The Grim Grotto (2004)
12. The Penultimate Peril (2005)
13. The End (2006)

Age 10 through adult.



The Chronicles of Narnia -- Focus on the Family Radio Theatre

These are really good adaptations of the Chronicles.  They are not word-by-word readings of the stories, but dramatic renderings.  The set includes all seven stories:

• The Magician's Nephew
• The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
• The Horse and his Boy
• Prince Caspian
• The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
• The Silver Chair
• The Last Battle

Ages 8 through adult.

Anne of Green Gables

It seems there are a lot of versions of this classic story out on CD.  The one we've enjoyed is narrated by Barbara Caruso. 

Age 10 through adult.

What are your family's favorites?

What She's Reading

While we are here in northern Indiana I have more time-- and incentive -- to read.  Life is slower-paced, the house is smaller, there aren't so many places to go and people to see and things to do.  It's kinda weird but in a good way.  One benefit is more time to read -- today I actually sat down in the middle of the afternoon  and read a book, just for fun.  Who does that?  I think I haven't fully realized yet that I am not the mother of toddlers or even young school-age children anymore.  (Since my children are aged 20, 18, and 13, you'd think I'd have figured that out by now...)  Not to mention that it might actually be a Good Idea for my 13-year-old to see me choose to read a book over checking my email or looking at Facebook. 

Anyway, here's what is in my small pile:

The Help  I don't normally (like, pretty much never) read whatever everyone else is reading so this is an exception.  It's well-written and interesting.  I have to finish it fast so I can go see the movie with a friend, before it leaves the theatres.

The Winter of our Disconnect  Fascinating read.  Warning: some language and coarseness.  Expecially relevant if you have teens in the house and are struggling to figure out how to handle all the media that is so much a part of our life now.  As one who has a love-hate, mostly hate, relationship with technology I am really enjoying reading this.

The Church and New Media  Haven't started this yet.  Probably the kind of book I'll read in bits and pieces rather than cover to cover.

Wives and Daughters and North and South.  Borrowed from my mom.  I might wait and read these next year when we are planning to spend some time in the north of England!

Mothers of small children -- make time to read (to yourself!), even if it's just a few minutes a day.  And try to read something other than parenting books!

What are you reading?

Broken Book

Do your kids have a favorite book? Can you tell what book this is? It is in HORRIBLE condition because it is loved so much! Not a bad problem to have, except that it's pretty hard to read it when it's looking like this...

Now, I am no expert, but I knew there had to be a way for me to put these pages back into their hardcover jacket.

So I decided to cut the ripped parts off and get the insides of the book all cleaned up and looking as good as new possible.

I used my straight trimmer (cuts large pieces of paper) to cut strips of paper 3" wide. I had to use two strips per side of the book because of how tall this book is. Once I cut the strips, I used Modge Podge (since it's super spreadable) and painted it onto the strips and glued the strips to the book to give it new strength. I wish I had a better color, but oh well. Two year olds don't care.

They just love to read about their favorite things!

Cleaning for a Month

 We are getting ready to celebrate fall here in our house! Labor Day is a great day to kick off my fall cleaning projects and this year I am following 31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way. This is an e-book that I downloaded and will be using to help me get my house in order; nice and cleany-cozy before winter sets in and the holiday decorating commenses. Speaking of which, the boys made some very cute and easy fall decorations this morning, which I will blog about later. Anyway! So, chapter one of this book challenges me to think of cleaning my home from two perspectives: Mary and Martha. You can read about these women from the Bible to learn more about their experience with Jesus. Mary's Challenge helped me focus on WHY I clean my home. I was encouraged to create a saying that I can read to myself in less than a minute each day as a reminder, then make it pretty and display it somewhere. Here's what I made:

Martha's Challenge was purely practical: Look through all the Martha Challenges in the book and create a list of the supplies that I will need in case I am out of some cleaning products or necessities. Well, lists are definitely something I can do! Off to go make mine now... wish me luck!