At the core of all the pressures to abandon the self is the temptation to lie about what we really think, feel, and believe.
Martha Beck, Breaking Point
Who do you consider your truest friend? Your most authentic relationship? Do you have more than one? Who in your life do you feel that you are the "most real" with? Do you have fake relationships? Do you say one thing while you mean another?
These are questions that I have been asking myself lately. Even the people that I feel the closest to, I am sometimes not honest with. Of course I am not consciously doing this. I don't walk around LYING whenever possible... but if I sit down and really think about it... I am not always speaking the truth. I am afraid. Even of the people I love the most. In my efforts to be a kind person who never has conflict or makes anyone else uncomfortable, I find that often times I ignore what my gut is telling me and say what I think they want to hear!
"Telling the truth means we need to take responsibility for our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and desires. When we cannot face the truth--or fear others will reject us because of it--we tell little lies. We lie to ourselves. We lie to those we love. We lie to strangers. We get so used to lying that we no longer know the truth from falsehood. Our lies do not have to be big to get in the way of having an authentic relationship." Taken from A Generous Presence by Rochelle Melander
Can you think of ways that you "tell little lies" each day when you should be speaking the truth? Not just because it's the right thing to do, but because if you really think about it--don't you think that the people who love you also want to know you? Know the real you?
Rochelle Melander says that there are two steps to learning how to tell the truth:
1. Recognize it. Ask yourself: "what do I know?"
2. Actually tell it. "The truth can be hard to hear. When we begin to tell the truth in a relationship or institution committed to a culture of posturing, we may be rejected. Of course, without this truth telling, we risk not knowing the richness of having an authentic relationship--with ourselves and one another."
Can you think of a time where you told the truth and it created a foundation for an authentic relationship?
Remember it. Try it again!
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